


Dick in a Skirt

by levibes



Series: random shizaya one shots [3]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Cross-dressing Izaya, M/M, Really didnt go like i originally thought, Shizuo is very naïve, Tom the ever peacemaker, hospital au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 21:18:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4364534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/levibes/pseuds/levibes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shizuo gets shot, and Tom has him go to the hospital.<br/>Yeah...<br/>That's the summary really...<br/>Don't want to spoil anymore o.o<br/>~<br/>Tbh its just for amusement xD<br/>Got to take a break from the angst of my other fic, Cruel Cycle ;-;</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dick in a Skirt

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea from a tumblr post I think...  
> *shrugs*  
> I forgot...  
> I posted on my Instagram (shizaya.is.perf) and some people wanted me to write it so...  
> Yay! I wrote it~  
> ~  
> Dianna, my best friend, helped me with the title...  
> She was kidding really but in the end I liked it xD  
> (It means Izaya, being a dick, is in a skirt and his dick, literally, is in a skirt xD  
> Also, my other friend Callie helped me edited this, so thank you guuuurrrrl~ cx  
> ~  
> Hope you guys enjoy ^.^

"I told you he had a gun.", Tom sighed, eyeing the blonde's bullet wound on his right leg. He seemed fine really. After all, he could stand up straight; stopping the bleeding would be a problem though.

Said blonde exhaled the smoke from one of his "cancer sticks" he had just lit up. "Fuck. I know you said that, but I didn't actually think the fucking idiot would have the guts to shoot me."

Tom scoffed, amused to see his kouhai pretty calm and just a little irritated, despite the fact that he was literally bleeding out. "Still, you need to get to a hospital."

Shizuo tsked, "Nah, I could always just put some glue on it. I've got plenty at home." 

The debt collector's boss frowned, "Hospital. Now."

Shizuo nodded defeatedly. He put out the cigarette with the heel of his shoe before having to follow Tom to the nearest hospital.

~

"Go sit down as I check you in." Tom pointed to the nearest waiting area and Shizuo, not wanting to argue with his senpai, nodded walking over to said area.

The area was filled with patients either groaning in pain, or crying and shaking in fear for their loved ones. All the seats were taken except one, next to a rather quiet raven head. A cute one at that. She looked somewhat familiar, but Shizuo shook his head. No way he'd know such a beauty with such amazingly long, ivory legs. Shizuo mentally slapped himself for ogling at the unaware beauty in such ways.

The stranger's eyes kept looking around. She looked mesmerized, like a kid at the zoo for the first time. Amazement clearly evident in her eyes, and occasionally her lips would curve to a smirk. Honestly, Shizuo hesitated with the idea of sitting next to her; her smirk seeming too creepy and vaguely familiar. Of course, he could always just stand; it's not like his wound could be affected any further.

But….that would mean defying Tom's request.

He grumbled a 'Got no choice' and walked over to the raven, who caught his eyes. Hazel meeting crimson red 'for the first time'. Still, he couldn't help but feel a strange sense of deja vu wash over him; for some reason, those eyes just mocked him, making him feel irritated. 

His heart skipped a beat and he quickly averted his gaze, cautiously sitting down.

The strong gaze kept the blonde a little uncomfortable and he turned around; the pair of eyes were looking straight into his. The stranger's lips suddenly turned upward and formed a faint smirk.

The blonde was beginning to feel awkward under the 'foreign' gaze and smirk, so he decided to break the ice. "What are you here for?" 

"I got stabbed.", the pretty stranger finally spoke up. She lifted her shirt up just a little, pale skin tainted with a rather nasty, deep cut in her abdomen.

Shizuo hissed, eyeing the wound,"Looks painful."

The raven shrugged, pulling her shirt down, "Not as much as the first time really."

Shizuo was about to question what she meant by that, but was quickly interrupted as the cute stranger looked up at him, getting a little too close for comfort.

"You?" She asked, interest sparkling in her eyes.

Shizuo backed away a little and lifted up his right leg just a little,to show off his bullet wound, as if it were a trophy. "Shot."

"Nice.", she smirked. 

Shizuo half smiled, "Shizuo." He then stretched out his hand in front of the raven.

The stranger took his hand, shaking it once and instead of pulling away, she pulled Shizuo down. "I know.", she kept smirking.

The blonde's eyes widened, his realization decking him square in the face. Suddenly, his chapped lips were attacked by soft rosy ones. Wide brown eyes locking with playful crimson, as the 'stranger' grinned and finally pulled away.

"I-ZA-YAAAAA!!!!!!" Shizuo yelled, the hospital building quaking at the loud outburst.

The informant pouted, "Aww, you finally noticed?" 

Shizuo scrambled to his feet and suddenly swayed, the loss of blood starting to haze his mind. "You fucking…perverted…f-flea!", he slurred drowsily.

Izaya let out a mocking laugh, "Aren't you the perverted one for liking me in a skirt?"

Shizuo raised a fist, his eyes burning with fury, but before he could swing, Tom got in the middle of the dizzy, blonde idiot and the cross-dressing informant casually lounging in his seat.

"Stop fighting in the hospital and Shizuo go to that room." He pointed to the room left of the area and then turned to Izaya, "Orihara-san, that room, ", he pointed to the right next to Shizuo's room, "the doctors will attend you both in a few.", Tom sternly said. 

Shizuo, looking dejected, and Izaya, looking nonchalant, both staggered to their respective rooms, but before either actually went in, Izaya smirked, "Guess this means we'll be hospital neighbors~."

Shizuo glared at the cocky raven and sneered, "Drop dead you disgusting pervert."

"I'll drop down on you, Shizu-chan~" The Infamous Informant giggling at his own sexual innuendo.

Shizuo turned bright red and Izaya blew a kiss and swaggered (more like staggered) off to his room.

"YOU STUPID, PERVERTED,COCKY-ASS FLEA!!!" Shizuo roared, before finally fainting after so much blood loss.

A few male nurses hesitantly got closer to the blonde and helped him into the room and onto the bed, the door closing behind them. Izaya's laugh echoed along the hospital halls and suddenly a soft strings of curses as he clutched to his injury, the laugh sending shocks of pain through his abdomen; it was worth it.

"Stupid Shizu-chan, making me laugh and hurting me.", Izaya mumbled, wincing while he continued to cackle.

"I really hate you."


End file.
